1 Chronicles 29: Exhausted Driver

” But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.” 1 Chronicles 29:14 (David’s words after encouraging the Israelites to give what they can while casting a vision to build a Temple for God.)

Have you ever had to drive when you were exhausted? I mean- struggling to keep awake- debating pulling over the car to take a “snooze”- playing every radio station you can to keep away type of exhaustion? Yup. I have. Now, don’t get me wrong I try as hard as I can to avoid being on the road when I am feeling like this but sometimes there is no getting out of it.

How difficult is it to focus on the road during these times? It blows my mind how one second I am focusing as intently as I can on whatever is down the road and I am steering with all my strength and determination straight down this road I am traveling but still… still somehow my eyes will soften and my gaze becomes short sighted. It’s like bricks form in my eyelids and nothing in me is strong enough to lift them. I will admit I have even swerved on the road during these moments. It is scary.

Thus is life.

Thus is faith.

Right now Adrian and I are serving at a local church where a vision has been cast- down the road- to do some amazing things. We love the idea of what is envisioned down the road. And like any great vision comes a buy in so we have chosen to commit more money than what we currently give as a tithe and offering. I mean, if I believe in the vision and goals of any hobby, organization, or job would I not sacrifice where/what I can to be a part of it? The same is true here. One difference… there is a God we are striving to serve and his arch enemy who is pissed. (Forgive my language… maybe he is just “perturbed”.) 🙂

Here is my honest point, while we have made commitments to sacrifice time, money, and energy to be a part of the exciting plans I would be lying if I said it was never exhausting. Life can exhaust us. Our own choices can exhaust us. No matter how much we are determined and focused down the road, there comes a point(s) when our eyes lids seem loaded with bricks, our determination shortens and sight softens. In this weak time we may be lead to swerve off the road or misreading road signs and take a wrong turn. What we were once totally committed to driving towards seems harder and less possible to get 5 feet closer too.

Being 9 months pregnant, in a single income home, with all the normal pressures of bills to pay… it is so easy to become exhausted trying to stretch our financial resources as far as possible. It is easy to swerve and in my own lack of strength lose sight of what is down the road. Good thing God is about our heart and desires to be our strength.

I don’t know where you are today and what you believe. I don’t know how much of your time, energy, and finances you have chosen to give to God. All I know is that our God loves us- not our money. He loves us that he wants to give us hope and take away our exhaustion (Matthew 11:28).

“Our days on earth are like a shadow without hope.” 1 Chronicles 29:15b

Here is my refocus:  It all comes back to giving more of ‘me’ to the Giver of all things. It is not about the money. It is about being a part of a hope and plan bigger than myself. The more I loosen my grip on things the more I loosen my hands to hold His and receive from Him.

I am excited for what He has planned ahead and I feel blessed to share my travel with an incredible God fearing man like my husband. We do not know all the plans God has for us but we do know that as long as we commit our ways to Him, he will straighten road (Proverbs 3:5), fill our lives with hope, and use us in ways we never could have imagined without Him (2Corinthians 12:9-11).

” I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willingly and with honest intent.” 1 Chronicles 29:17

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