As I type type this, I should be hemming my brothers karate pants. {random. yes.}

Why?
He asked, so I said I would.

My husband said he asked because I was  good at sewing.
That statement made me laugh.

if you have ever looked closely at anything i have hemmed or sewn you would see crooked seam lines that barely hold up the fabric

 

Before I decided to type this I had been working on the karate pant hem for about 2 minutes and already had to take out the thread and begin again. See… I am no pro seamstress.

If anything I am great at knowing what to do when I make a mistake while sewing. 🙂

I often feel the same with skill with marriage.

{don’t tune out now if you are not married…. everything from here on applies to any relationship.}

I sew more crooked lines than straight in my marriage.

 

The other day…

Adrian and I were arguing about something. I got so ticked that he wouldn’t shut up and admit I was right that I left for groceries– I guess I thought that would show him!

As I drove, I prayed or more like chatted with the big Guy- Creator- Yahweh. I stated my case, as if to say, “Come on God, YOU know I am right”. Immediately – I kid you not- I felt almost as if God nodded in approval.

My stubborn heart was super stoked by this. Was I seriously feeling some sort of supernatural nod of approval from God?

Then it continued, “and…?”

And… what, God?

And… who are you? Whose are you Amy?

Awe man! There went my moment.

My stubborn heart began to melt away as I was reminded that in Christ, I lose my right to be right. It was as if God said, “okay, you are right. Move on. How are you acting like my daughter?” If I am a daughter of His- covered in the blood of Christ- I am to love and respect my husband. Even in an argument. {1 Peter 3}

Had I forfeited my identity as a follower of Christ in my pursuit of proving a point?

You bet I did. I had sewn that line crooked.

I turned the car around to reproach the man at home- the one God deeply loved but I was struggling to. I went back not because I felt like it but because of Who held my identity.

Why in marriage do we get so caught up in being right?

He is righteous. He is the ONLY reason we are ever made righteous.

There is no one righteous, not even one.Romans 3:10

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law… Romans 3:20

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe-and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22,24

When it comes to keeping score with others {judging} God makes it clear that is not our place but His.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12

When it comes to how and who we love, it is a submissive love. Given freely because of Who He is, not because of who we are or what we deserve from others. Pray for God to show you how to love as He loves the other person. And act on it.

In marriage, our hope is in Him… not our husbands. Do not lose heart when your man lets you down. Let Christ hold your heart because where He is, there is hope.

 

Moving forward-

  • Love your husbands when it is hard: Do to others as you would have them do to you. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:31-36
  •  Love your husbands with words and deeds as if you were loving Christ himself: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
  • Love your husbands with your words. Bite your tongue if what is pouring from your heart is disrespect.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. James 4:11, Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19
  • Love Jesus Christ more. Keep your hope in Christ. through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:2-8 

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