Anxious

Feeling anxious to have this baby in my arms. At first thought, I was confused. Was I feeling this way because I just started feeling the baby move? Or is it just the pregnancy hormones? I mean, I am only 4 1/2 months pregnant. I don’t remember feeling like this with my other two kiddos.

Then it hit me… the sweet baby I lost was due next week. I had forgotten.

In a crazy way, it feels good to cry. Do you ever feel like that? Even sadness can be a great emotion. And a gift. In my sadness, I am able to remember the baby I miscarried. I am able to remember the miracle of this pregnancy. I am able to cry and smile.

There is a loving God who does not always keep us from sadness. But He always walks through it with us. What a precious memory for me. To remember the baby I was blessed to carry and the God who held me through the pain and sadness. So, in the midst of a few tears I am blessed to remember.

He held me through that time. He holds the baby now. And He holds my hope for whatever is to come tomorrow.

I couldn’t ask for anything more.

 

 If you wanted to read my post from the miscarriage. Here it is.

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