Marriage is about giving up.

In a culture where we are taught from childhood that in order to succeed we must win, how does this make sense? Isn’t it all about how many stickers you get on the chart, “likes” you get on facebook, ribbons and trophies on the field, “A’s” in the classroom, and the number of promotions in the office? How then can I ultimately “win” in my marriage by “giving up”?

1 Corinthians makes it clear that men need to give up their comfort, pride, and life for their wife to the point of death- “giving up” their lives. Wives likewise are told to “give up” egos, self-righteosness, and wants to the point of submitting to the needs of their husbands before their own.

It is my sincere belief that unless we give up, as we are instructed to in the Bible, we will inevitably give up on marriage itself. Some may “give up” to the extent of divorce while others remain married but settle for a marriage without satisfaction. Give up your own pursuit of happiness and bliss. Then and only then will you find satisfaction and happiness in marriage that goes beyond temporary circumstances. You know what I mean: Monday I have fallen madly in love with him/ her but Wednesday… Oh Wednesday I deserve better… We have fallen out of love… may be I should give up on my jerk of a spouse all together!

Photo booth when I was prego with Aaron.

Stop keeping count of all the ways your spouse has disappointed you and throw out your scoreboard on how many arguments you have won or need to win. Ask Christ to help you give up. Give up being right, pursuing your bliss before his, and expecting him/ her to let you down. After all, at the end of your life would you rather have more times of “being right” and personal wins or a marriage with the best friend you’ve ever had? It’s one or the other.

Another thought: Christ didn’t die because there was no way out of it. He chose to give up his pride, comfort, happiness, and life for us. He showed us how we should live. Give up! -not because your spouse deserves it but because in order to live as Christ we must first give up all of our life to him.

What can you give up today?

Final Thought: If you want your husband to be a better husband,
treat him like he is the best husband.


2 thoughts on “Marriage is about giving up.

  1. love this post! 🙂 we are doing a study currently on the book “gospel centered marriage” and it definitely talks about this. it’s amazing how much giving up and striving to please the other will ultimately satisfy yourself and improve your marriage.

  2. How did that book end up? I love inspiring books on marriage. Marriage has truly brought about my greatest trials and triumphs. God word is true and He has blessed my relationship with Adrian beyond belief. Just the other day we were in tears laughing with each other. How cool to be married to the best friend I have ever had.

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